


Ghosts of the Past and What the Future Brings

by featherlight221b



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Death, Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghosts, It's not all sad though, Mild Gore, The Biggest Most Awful Most Tragic Event in Human History (Dangan Ronpa), Towa City (Dangan Ronpa), i think, mentions of brainwashing and cannibalism, takes place between ultra despair girls and superdanganronpa 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:20:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28842261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/featherlight221b/pseuds/featherlight221b
Summary: “I don’t have a plan. I’ll leave here and see what happens next,” he says.“Ooh, so we’re doing things spontaneously! I expected something more specific from you, but sheer chaos is where it’s at, hell yeah!” Enoshima yells, then gives him a thumbs-up. “Give it your best, Kamukura!”He lets out a tired sigh. Putting up with the Ultimate Despair was easier when she was alive. He could push her away or step on her face when she was still corporeal. There’s no getting rid of her in this predicament.*Or: one of Izuru Kamukura's many talents is the Ultimate Medium, seeing ghosts of your past is sometimes quite troublesome and so is running into a Remnant of Despair trying to raise the second Junko Enoshima while the real Junko Enoshima's ghost won't leave you alone
Relationships: Kamukura Izuru & Komaeda Nagito & Towa Monaca, Kamukura Izuru & Nanami Chiaki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So! This is my first Danganronpa fanfic, and I'm really excited to share it, but first I'd like to quickly mention two things:  
> 1) while reading, you might notice slight inconsistencies with what happened in canon, that's part of why this is tagged as canon divergence (so basically: it's mostly about the ghosts thing, but there are a few minor things that might be different as well)  
> 2) I'd like to thank @GaymerKin701 on Twitter for beta reading this for me, I really appreciate it!
> 
> Alright, enjoy reading!

The girl’s gaze is filled with sadness, but it’s not quite the same as the grief, misery and desperation that Izuru has gotten used to seeing wherever he goes these days. There isn’t the same look of despair in her eyes that everyone seems to have, ever since the Tragedy started. There is still warmth behind her sadness and the way she appears to be watching him looks as if she’s sad not because of him but  _ for _ him. Sympathy, or perhaps pity, might be the right words to describe it, if he’s not mistaken. He’s rarely ever mistaken.

“ _ Kamukura _ ,” Enoshima’s shrill voice rings in his ear and Izuru feels a chilling breeze surrounding him as she throws her arms around his neck from behind and uses his shoulder as a pillow even though she doesn’t need one. She speaks loudly and that might be what scares the sad girl away, causing her to turn around and disappear, the way she always does. “What are you staring at again? Any ghosts caught your eye? When I’m  _ right here _ ? Jeez, you’re such a lousy date.”

He doesn’t bother to dignify her whining with a response. Out of the corner of his right eye he sees her puff out her cheeks like an angry child before she pushes herself away and sits down on the ground beside him, sending him an annoyed glare as she clenches her fists.

“You won’t even talk to me? So  _ mean _ !” she complains. “What’s the point of being the Ultimate Medium if you won’t even use it to talk to your best pal?”

“Be quiet for a moment,” he tells her.

He’d say that he didn’t ask to be the Ultimate Medium, but as far as he knows, that’s not necessarily true. He has no memories of the person he used to be, but it seems like that person consented to be experimented on, to have countless talents forced into him, turning him into what he is today. Still, there are multiple talents he’s positive he could do without and would rather prefer not to have if he was to have any say in it now. Seeing the dead is one of them. It’s a useless talent that brings him nothing he needs, not even entertainment. It’s just countless broken spirits of the victims of the Tragedy every day and a particularly annoying and persistent ghost of Junko Enoshima who he’s currently stuck with against his will. Them, and also the sad girl.

The sad girl must have been one of the first ghosts he’s seen. He didn’t pay much attention to her back then. Even if her demeanor stood out from the rest’s, she was still just a ghost among many others. He noticed her eventually as she kept appearing every now and then, looking at him as if she knew him. She probably did know him, when she was still alive, before he was Izuru Kamukura. She can’t have been one of the people whose deaths he’s responsible for, not with how there was no aura of resentment or vengeance around her, so he’s almost sure whatever keeps her coming back must have happened when his current self still didn’t exist.

He wonders who she is sometimes. There aren’t many things he doesn’t know, but the ghost of the girl is a mystery to him, both her identity and the reason why she looks at him with sadness. Perhaps she was a member of his family, perhaps a friend or a girlfriend. Or maybe someone less significant, a random classmate, a neighbor or a person he happened to be kind to in the past who grieves the death of who he used to be and is saddened to see what he’s become. There’s no way of knowing, she never comes close enough to talk to him or to even hear any questions he would ask her.

“We’ve been sitting here pretty long, you know. Are you planning to move, Kamukura? Where are we going next?” Enoshima asks. “We can’t sit here forever, can we now?”

Her impatience is quite bothersome.

“You are free to leave at any time if you’re not happy with what I choose to do,” he says coolly.

“Aww, but you’re not gonna be happy staying in one place doing nothing either, are you?” she asks, moving to sit opposite to him and looking up at him with wide eyes and her hands making a strange gesture as if she was trying to resemble a pleading cat. “Wouldn’t you get so  _ booored _ here, Kamukura? Wouldn’t you?”

Izuru levels her with a cold stare. It’s enough to make most people shudder and back away but it doesn’t have the same effect on Enoshima. Quite the opposite, she looks practically delighted and lets out an excited squeal as she jumps up a little and gets uncomfortably close to his face.

“You know, Kamukura, I might be dead, but despair is never truly gone,” she’s purring now, sending him a look that he thinks is supposed to be seductive. “ _ Someone _ needs to continue my work and keep spreading despair around the world. My darling remnants are trying their best but who’s better for the job than the  _ Ultimate Ultimate _ himself?” she’s playing with a lock of his hair as she speaks before suddenly letting it go and backing away just a little, a childish expression reappearing on her face once again. “So! What’s it gonna be? Where are we spreading despair next? What’s your plan? Hm? Hmm?”

“I don’t have a plan. I’ll leave here and see what happens next,” he says.

“Ooh, so we’re doing things spontaneously! I expected something more specific from you, but sheer chaos is where it’s at, hell yeah!” Enoshima yells, then gives him a thumbs-up. “Give it your best, Kamukura!”

He lets out a tired sigh. Putting up with the Ultimate Despair was easier when she was alive. He could push her away or step on her face when she was still corporeal. There’s no getting rid of her in this predicament.

He pushes himself up from the ground and looks around. It’s getting dark already, he might as well look for a place to stay the night. He’d sleep outside, but it’s been colder as of lately and it’s been raining more frequently. His best option is possibly going underground, especially now that the conflict between the adults and children of Towa City has ended and everyone has come back to the surface, leaving the subway tunnels empty. He’s never gone down there before as there was no real need to, but there should be several places there sufficient enough to serve as a temporary shelter.

Enoshima keeps talking at him as he looks for the closest entrance but he blocks out the sound of her voice. It’s a useful ability that he’s acquired quickly, being able to ignore the others completely when he wishes to. It’s the only way to keep himself sane with the countless spirits hanging around him even now, pointing fingers, spitting at him, hissing out hateful accusatory words. It’s easier with them, of course, to treat them as a part of the background noise of a city, than it is with Enoshima, but Izuru knows he’s getting better at dismissing Enoshima’s presence, something that used to be near impossible with the way she demands constant attention even in death.

Eventually, he finds an entrance to the underground hidden in a graveyard. It’s an unpleasant place to say at least, with all those wailing spirits crawling on the ground, watching them from their tombstones, whispering among themselves as Izuru passes by them with a cheerful Enoshima in tow who keeps waving at everyone and startling the ghosts with her nonsensical remarks.

The ladder leading down is long and it takes them several minutes to climb down. Enoshima should be able to simply jump down as the fall can’t hurt her anymore, but she insists on using the ladder as well for reasons that Izuru can’t be bothered to wonder about. Knowing her, it’s something ridiculous.

“Woo! Finally here! Where to now? Lead the way, captain!” she calls out loudly.

Izuru chooses the way leading to the north. It’s the quickest path of the city, guaranteeing a change of scenery sooner than later. It’s the direction that the resistance’s hideout used to be in too, so there’s a chance they’ll reach it within a short amount of time if they keep heading forward.

“Gee, this place is super sleazy, isn’t it?” Enoshima says. She gave up on walking and is drifting through the air now. That doesn’t stop her from bumping into an adult spirit sitting by the wall. “Oi, look where you’re sitting, punk. What’s with that face, huh? Smile! What’s the point of despair if you give up so easily?”

Izuru would like to hope that she’ll stay here to harass the ghost and leave him alone, but he knows such wishes are pointless. Junko Enoshima is like a terminal disease, incurable once you’re infected. He doesn’t doubt she’ll continue to haunt him as long as she wants to and that will probably last a while.

“Hey, hey, Kamukura,  _ wait up _ , darling,” she calls after him once she realizes how far away he’s gotten. She catches up to him in no time. “How rude of you to leave a lady behind like this, and after all that I’ve done for you too, how ungrateful!”

“Silent.”

She’s back to purring and batting her eyelashes. “How cold and merciless of you,  _ Kamukura _ . No matter how long we’ve known each other, your attitude towards me never changes, what a stubborn guy you – “

“I can hear voices, be silent,” he elaborates and it finally gets her to stop talking for a brief moment, if only because his comment caught her curiosity.

The voices are distant and quiet but they’re definitely there, somewhere ahead of them. He can’t make out what they’re saying but one of them seems to be a child’s voice, while the other must belong to a young adult. A logical assumption would be that they’re still hiding in the aftermath of everything that went down in the city, but they sound calm, which Izuru doesn’t think an adult and a child would be if they were terrified survivors afraid to go on the surface, stuck with their former mortal enemy. Who they are exactly is an unanswered question, one that he decides he wants answered, and so he follows after the sound towards its source.

“That  _ monster _ , occupying what used to be our hiding place from her…” a ghost they pass by wails and oh, isn’t that interesting?

A theory forming in his mind, Izuru keeps walking. Soon enough the voices get louder, clearer until finally he can hear the words they’re saying.

“ – not my parent, so stop bugging me about those things…”

“Ah, but I still would feel rather guilty letting you stay up until late at such a young age… You need to be well-rested to spread despair, you don’t become the second Junko Enoshima by pulling all-nighters to read and then sleeping all day.”

“I’m not going to sleep all day, I’ll be fine, leave me alone.”

Izuru raises an eyebrow and turns to look at Junko, whose eyes now widen in surprise.

“Second Junko Enoshima?” she repeats. “Oh my, just who is that?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that question?” Izuru asks. “It’s possibly one of the Remnants of Despair.”

“Aww, my little fan club is here?” she asks, putting a hand over her heart, fake tears welling up in her eyes. A moment later she brightens up and throws up her fist in the air. “Fuck yeah, let’s go, Kamukura!”

She runs forward and he’s the one left behind this time. Briefly, he considers turning back and trying to lose her, but she’d find him anyway eventually so he follows after her instead. It doesn’t take long before he reaches a door that’s not closed to the end – how careless – and Junko peeking in.

“Oh, oh, oh, I know who that is!” she exclaims before turning to him. “That’s Nagito Komaeda, he’s  _ such _ a fanboy and  _ so _ delusional. He tried to kill me once, as if that was a possible feat!” she snorts loudly before breaking into shrill laughter.

“You were killed by a weak high school student with self-esteem problems,” Izuru points out, then opens the door wider.

Nagito Komaeda must be the white-haired guy with a chain around his neck and a large mitten covering his left hand, because the other person is without a doubt Monaca Towa. She’s currently sat down against the wall with a book lying in her lap and her gaze glued firmly to the pages as her mouth twists into a pout. Komaeda is standing in the middle of the room, looking a little lost as if unsure whether to continue the argument or let it go. He seems to be halfway through opening his mouth to speak before he jumps up in surprise at the sound of the door opening and his gaze darts to where Izuru is standing. His eyes widen in surprise that is then replaced by confusion.

“Oh. And who are you?” he asks, tilting his head the way people do in cartoons when asking questions.

Giving out his name is pointless these days. Most people have heard of Izuru Kamukura, Hope’s Peak Academy’s experiment gone wrong, a member of Junko Enoshima’s terrorist group, one of the people responsible for the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history. He knows his face has appeared on television before and he’s still often spoken of, even if for most of the Tragedy he’s only been observing, watching the events unfold from the front row.

He ignores Komaeda’s question and turns to look at Monaca Towa. She’s looking up at him now as well, her eyes filled with both curiosity and apprehension. She’s calm enough but she’s also wary of him. Good, she should be. That’s a healthy attitude to have with the way the world is. Although perhaps she should also be wary of the guy wanting to raise her to be Junko Enoshima’s successor.

“Oh, isn’t that one of my dearest Warriors of Hope? Look how much she’s grown!” Enoshima coos from where she’s floating at his side.

Izuru looks at Komaeda again.

“You’re Nagito Komaeda, one of the Remnants of Despair, correct?” he asks and doesn’t wait for an answer or the question that surely must be coming judging from the way the man seems to be startled by Izuru knowing who he is. “What did you mean earlier, when you spoke of Monaca Towa becoming the second Junko Enoshima?”

Komaeda lets out a light laugh and makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. The one not hidden inside a mitten.

“Ah, so you’ve heard that. Well, it’s what it sounds like. I’m going to help her become the successor of Junko Enoshima, one even more like the original than the original herself,” he says, a mad glint flashing in his eyes.

“Why?”

Komaeda laughs again.

“Why? Well, it’s quite simple. The ending of the events in Towa City were pretty anticlimactic and there wasn’t much of a proper closure. A story that ends with neither hope nor despair is rather meaningless, isn’t it? What the world needs is one more  _ proper _ battle between these two, and I want to be there to see it this time,” he says, his eyes shining brighter and brighter as he keeps talking. “Oh, but do tell me what does it matter to you?”

“He’s Izuru Kamukura,” Monaca speaks up from her spot.

So he was right in thinking that he would be recognized eventually.

Komaeda’s eyes now spark with sudden interest and he studies Izuru with intense curiosity, as if he’s been waiting to meet him. He probably has, as Izuru must be the only Remnant of Despair that he doesn’t know or at least doesn’t remember knowing.

“Oh? So we’ve been visited by the Ultimate Everything himself?” Komaeda asks. “What an honor, please pardon my lack of tact or welcome.”

“Gee, he really hasn’t changed much,” Enoshima comments.

Izuru considers for a moment if he should point it out to her that she didn’t even remember him brief minutes earlier, but decides against it. She wouldn’t have anything interesting to say in response, her comments have been getting dull.

He wonders if stopping here would be less boring then looking for another place to stop at and rest.

He’s already seen one rise of Junko Enoshima in his life and isn’t interested in seeing another one. However, he might be interested in seeing the plan’s failure, find out what exactly Komaeda is trying to do and watch it come crashing down, witness what becomes of a child like Monaca Towa after being trained to become the replacement for the Ultimate Despair.

“Hmm, whatcha thinkin ‘bout, Kamukura?” Enoshima asks.

“Kamukura?” Komaeda asks after he’s been silent for a while.

Eventually, Izuru makes up his mind. He goes over to where he can spot an old blanket someone must have left behind and folds it into a pillow for himself, before settling himself more comfortably and turning away from the other two living beings in the room so that they know not to ask questions. All that they need to know should be obvious.

He allows himself to wonder if tomorrow will be less dull than usual.

*

He wakes up to a pair of bright green eyes observing him and a pair of scissors hanging dangerously close to his hair. He doesn’t move, waiting to see what happens, but nothing does. Monaca keeps staring at him for a moment with a blank expression on her face before it twists into a smile that must be supposed to look sweet and innocent and then she speaks to him in a cheerful voice.

“Good morning, big bro Kamukura,” she greets him. “Monaca thought she should cut your hair! It’s not easy to wash your hair here and it’ll get  _ real _ stinky  _ really _ fast if you keep it that long. Monaca’s thoughtful like that, isn’t she?” She uses her free hand to make a peace sign as she finishes speaking.

Izuru confiscates the scissors, startling the girl. From the way she jumps back, he figures he must have used his unnatural speed without thinking. Well. It’s better this way, she’ll know not to bother him too much.

He puts the scissors aside and sits up, then takes the room in. It’s empty aside from the two of them. Komaeda’s gone and there’s no Enoshima in sight either. So she followed him to wherever it is he’d gone to.

“Big bro Komaeda went out to get food,” Monaca explains, realizing what he must be wondering. “There’s not much of it underground. Monaca hopes he’ll get some biscuits, Monaca really likes those but we haven’t had the chance to buy them ever since  _ Komaru Naegi _ ruined Monaca’s plans and we had to flee. But big bro Kamukura must already know about this, right?”

He does, he was present for most of it even though their paths haven’t crossed. He decided not to get directly involved and remain an observer, like usual.

“Yes,” he confirms.

“Hmm, and what side  _ are _ you on?” Monaca asks him.

Izuru blinks slowly. He hasn’t been asked this question before. It should be obvious – it is obvious, to most, that he’s Enoshima’s minion and remains on the side of despair. However, it’s true that he hasn’t done much fighting in the name of despair and against hope, not like the others have. He witnessed Mikan Tsumiki experimenting on kidnapped unwilling patients, Sonia Nevermind carrying out executions of hundreds with the help of Gundham Tanaka who had wild animals tear people to shreds, Teruteru Hanamura preparing feasts with dishes made of human meat.

“I’m… more of a viewer, I suppose,” he settles on saying. “I’ve sided with despair but mostly I’ve been acting as an audience to everything.”

“An audience?” Monaca repeats. She sounds confused but also somewhat intrigued. “Hmm, I see. So you prefer to let others do the work, is that it? Pretty cunning of you, big bro Kamukura.”

She sounds almost impressed. Izuru’s afraid she’s rather misinterpreting the situation.

“I don’t particularly care for the outcome,” he clarifies. “But routine is boring to me.”

“So you’re in it for fun?” the girl asks.

“If that’s how you choose to phrase it, I suppose you could.”

“Hmm,” Monaca studies his face for a moment with narrowed eyes then lets out a giggle. “You’re kinda weird, big bro.”

She smiles up at him again and he’s positive it’s still no bit more genuine than the last time. She shuffles a bit until she’s comfortably sitting against the wall next to him and starts humming an unfamiliar tune as she takes off her shoe, shakes a bracelet out of it and starts toying with it.

Ah, so she is bored as well.

It’s at that moment that he hears footsteps. Enoshima’s ghost walks in through the wall right before the door opens and Komaeda steps in, waving a bag of groceries. He walks over to Izuru and Monaca and sits on the floor, then starts unpacking the bag. There’s not much in there, just one jar of Nutella, sliced loaf of bread, some beef jerky and a bag of chips.

“Breakfast’s ready!” he announces happily as if he’s brought a big and nutritious meal instead.

Monaca immediately reaches for the bags of chips and tucks it to her chest before anyone could have the chance to take it. After making sure that neither of them are considering stealing the chips from her, she relaxes.

“Hey, big bro Komaeda, make me a sandwich,” she asks, poking at the man’s shoulder.

“What sandwich do you want, Monaca?” he asks politely.

“What do you mean what sandwich, you barely brought anything,” Monaca points out and puffs out her cheeks in annoyance. “Take two slices of bread and put  _ a looot _ of Nutella between them!”

“Alright,” Komaeda says, getting to work. “Would you like some beef jerky with it?”

Monaca frowns in disgust and blanches.

“Monaca won’t eat Nutella with beef jerky! That’s  _ yucky _ ,” she tells him.

A breeze of cold wind passes through, making Izuru flinch slightly as Enoshima settles between him and Komaeda, invading his personal space as she leans against his shoulder and looks up at him, making her strange pleading cat face again.

“Will you make a sandwich for me as well, Kamukura? Pwease?” she bats her eyelashes at him, then pouts when he doesn’t answer. “Oh  _ come on _ , Kamukura, it’s bad enough that the hope addict over there was ignoring me throughout the whole way on our food hunt, the least you can do is talk to me to comfort my poor aching heart.”

He rarely feels strong emotions but he’s getting gradually more and more annoyed at the moment. Does Enoshima expect him to answer while they’re near two other people who aren’t aware of her presence? Or is she choosing to try and rile him up now because she knows he won’t want to answer?

“Kamukura?”

It’s almost enough to get him to glare at Enoshima, this time it’s not her voice. He looks up at Komaeda who the question came from and hums to let him know that he’s waiting for him to continue when the other doesn’t speak.

“Aren’t you going to eat with us?” Komaeda asks. “Unless of course you don’t want to eat with me present, in that case I’ll be more than happy to remove myself from here temporarily. I’m not competent enough to get better food so I understand you might be unhappy with it but it’s unfortunately the best I could find.”

“I wasn’t aware the food was for me as well,” Izuru says.

He’s not sure why Komaeda’s presence or absence would make much difference when it’s not significant to him, but he doesn’t bother to question his thought process.

“Jeez, you’re even talking to others but not me? To think you’d have such audacity to ignore the Ultimate Despair,” Enoshima whines.

“Of course the food is for you as well. It would be a shame to let the Ultimate of Ultimates starve, wouldn’t it?”

Izuru takes the pack of beef jerky wordlessly and starts eating. Komaeda smiles at him and in his case it’s difficult to tell if it’s genuine or not. It doesn’t look like a real smile but it doesn’t look like a fake one either. Not on purpose at least, perhaps as if he’s unintentionally forcing himself to smile without even knowing. His gaze is strange as well, confusing. There’s a mix of fascination and admiration and something else, something less positive. It might be bitterness or even resentment, Izuru can’t be sure.

Cold surrounds him again as Enoshima tries to braid his hair and fails miserably due to the fact that she doesn’t have a physical form.

“I will go out to get food the next time,” he says. “Ultimate Chef is among the talents that were given to me so I am able to prepare a proper meal.”

“It is? That’s amazing,” Komaeda says and Izuru is certain now that behind the admiration and awe the bitterness is hiding as well. “I feel extremely touched that someone like you would bother to cook for us.”

“I will eat the food as well. There is no need to flatter yourself,” Izuru informs him.

“Ah, of course, of course, that was too presumptuous of me, sorry,” Komaeda apologizes with an awkward laugh.

Monaca, on the other hand, perks up and is now poking at Izuru’s shoulder.

“Big bro, what will you cook for us? Monaca would love something sweet, because Monaca loves sweet things!”

“I will see what ingredients are available.”

“Eh? Hmm, whatever, just make sure to bring us something warm,” the girl tells him.

It’s enough talking for today, Izuru decides, and stops paying attention to the others altogether. It’s the right time to do it, he concludes when they finish eating soon after and Komaeda goes into a lively rant about something that he’s not paying attention to but is sure must have something to do with hope and despair. He’ll listen one day, but listening to Komaeda at the moment means hearing Enoshima whenever she sees it fit to chime in. He’ll have chances to witness Komaeda’s monologue another time when the ghost of the Ultimate Despair gets bored of the room and goes outside to float around the area.

It’s a good idea, he decides, to go outside and walk around. He can start looking for food now, it doesn’t make much difference if he finds it earlier, especially since he’ll need to find a kitchen if he wants a warm meal. Now that Monaca’s mentioned it, he admits it would be nice to eat something that isn’t cold.

When he gets up and leaves, no one seems to notice, or no one cares enough to acknowledge it, which Izuru realizes with a feeling of relief. He might enjoy walking alone and clearing his head.

Except he’s not alone, not in the subway and not on the surface, because he never is. The wailing ghost is still where it was last night and he passes by it on his way to the entrance.

“Your complaining won’t change anything. Quit it,” he advises it before leaving the subway.

There are more ghosts on the surface, but that’s why it’s easier not to notice them. They all blur into one.

There’s an abandoned restaurant not that far away. It must have been destroyed recently because there are still usable ingredients in the kitchen. There’s no wide variety of food to choose from, but it’s enough. He gets to work.

Izuru finds cooking pleasant. He knows how to prepare the perfect dish by most people’s standards, but “good” is subjective, including when it comes to food. You can change a little and it affects the end product by a lot. He can predict the taste, but not necessarily how it’s received, not even by himself. He wouldn’t go as far as to call it fascinating, but it provides a certain amount of entertainment, of the unknown.

He makes pizza. It’s almost what people must refer to as “fun” or at least up until to the part where he has to wait for it to finish baking. Izuru doesn’t enjoy that part.

“It’s nice, isn’t it? Watching how something you put effort in turns out,” a voice speaks suddenly from where the busted window is located.

Izuru turns around. Sitting on the windowsill is the ghost of the sad girl. It’s the first time he’s ever seen her so close. She looks a bit happier now, her gaze warm, a soft smile resting on her lips. She looks like something good has happened.

“Everything I do turns out perfect, regardless of whether I put in any effort or not,” he replies.

The girl seems to think about his answer for a moment.

“I think… it can still be pretty fun. I used to play video games a lot and I would always win but I still enjoyed myself,” she tells him and Izuru feels a sudden pang in his chest. Strange. “I knew I wouldn’t lose, but true perfection doesn’t really exist… at least, I don’t think so. You can always do even better than the last time. It always made me really happy, challenging myself and finding new goals to achieve.”

Out of nowhere, Izuru feels an unsettling need to believe her words. He frowns, unsure where that came from. It would be ridiculous to do so.

“I don’t quite understand how that’s supposed to work,” he gives her an honest answer. “Isn’t that just comforting yourself by pretending your passion doesn’t bore you anymore?”

And there it is, the hint of sadness in her eyes.

“It might seem like that but I’d say it’s different. In the end, it doesn’t really matter as long as I have fun doing what I do, does it?” she offers him another smile at the end of the question, like he’s supposed to hear and understand.

Confusing. The conversation suddenly makes him uncomfortable.

He changes the topic. “I’ve seen you before but this is the first time you’ve come to talk to me.”

“Sorry,” the girl apologizes. “You usually have company.” She frowns a bit after saying that. “I… I don’t feel very safe when I see your… friend?”

“Enoshima and I aren’t friends,” Izuru clarifies.

“I see. Is it mean if I say that’s probably for the better? I don’t want to speak badly of anyone, but she… she’s done some horrible things that I don’t think I could forgive her.”

“To you?”

“To me, and to my friends.”

The look on her face expresses anger and protectiveness for a moment when she mentions her friends. If Enoshima did something to her close ones, it’s surprising she’s not consumed by hatred and bitterness like most of the spirits of people who died because of the Tragedy are. Most of them hate the world instead of just harboring anger for only the one who deserves it.

He wonders if he used to be one of those friends she mentioned.

“Did we know each other when you were alive?” he asks.

The sadness is clearer now. “We did. Twice, actually. Once when you were still Hajime Hinata, and then we met again when you were Izuru Kamukura. But it seems like you don’t remember either of those times,” she observes.

Hajime Hinata. So that’s who he was.

He doesn’t remember anything from before the experiments. He should remember everything afterwards, except for his memories of the Remnants of Despair that Enoshima took away. All of the Remnants are alive as far as he knows, and the ghost of this girl doesn’t look like she could be one of them.

He opens his mouth to ask about it, but the girl looks up suddenly and frowns.

“I have to go now. Sorry,” she says. “But it makes me very happy we got to talk again, Hi – oh, should I call you ‘Kamukura’ now?”

“I don’t really care. But I’m not Hajime Hinata anymore,” he tells her.

“I see,” she nods. “Then see you later, Kamukura. I hope we get to talk again.”

He can tell she’s going to disappear soon but before that happens, something prompts him to ask.

“What’s your name?”

“Chiaki Nanami,” the girl introduces herself.

Izuru nods. Nanami offers him one last smile before disappearing.

From the distance he can hear Enoshima calling him, probably about to burst through the door any moment now. From the tone of her voice, he concludes she’s complaining about something once again.

“How boring,” he mutters as he turns to check on the pizza.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, the second chapter is up! I'll try to post the third chapter soon!

“The evil laughter is a nice touch, but perhaps you should work on making it sound more… despair-inducing. You’re not just laughing at people, you’re completely  _ disregarding _ them, seeing them for the  _ worthless trash _ that they are, nothing more than little ants you could easily step on and crush to death – “

“My evil laughter is  _ fine _ ,” Monaca protests.

Komaeda’s lessons for Monaca on how to become the next Junko Enoshima resemble arguments more than actual lessons. These two disagree on a lot of things and their personalities rather clash more than anything. It wouldn’t pose any problem if Komaeda took a moment to try and understand the way the girl’s brain works and how to best approach the matter at hand, but the man is too focused on his own goals and ideals.

“How… boring. You agree, don’t you, Kamukura?” Enoshima’s ghost asks in an emotionless, empty voice.

He doesn’t know if she’s actually bored or if this is her way of mocking him. It could be both. Regardless, he appreciates the sense of uncertainty that comes with it despite the annoyance that always accompanies it.

He does agree with her, to a certain degree. Still, as dull as Komaeda and Monaca’s fighting is becoming, the reasons behind it are somewhat interesting, Komaeda’s obsession with hope that he wishes will overcome the despair he creates in the end. It’s not often that those who have fallen to despair still think about hope in any context other than when planning how to annihilate it.

It must be part of the reason why Monaca is hesitant about listening to what the other says.

“I  _ know _ what big sis Junko’s laughter sounded like, I’ve  _ heard _ it!” Monaca is saying at the moment. “I don’t trust  _ you _ on what sounds despair-inducing.”

“That’s rather unfortunate,” Komaeda smiles a condescending smile. “Especially since it’s  _ because _ of my adoration for hope that I understand despair so well. Junko Enoshima was my biggest enemy, so there’s no one else who can tell you as much about her as I can.”

“How pitiful,” Enoshima mutters, playing with the end of one of her pigtails. “He actually thinks he and I are on the same level. How… hopeless. He’s doing a horrible job at raising a kid as well.” With that, she suddenly turns to Izuru and bursts into tears, followed by loud wails. He shivers at the cold that hits him as she fake sobs into his shoulder. “ _ Kamukuraaa _ , I miss raising my darling Warriors of Hope. I was  _ such _ a good mother figure to them. Who taught them how to kill? Who taught them how to hate? They must be so  _ lonely _ without me.”

He slowly moves away. Enoshima rolls her eyes and flops onto her back.

“Whatever,” she says. “I’m going to sleep. Peace out, fuckers.”

Izuru hasn’t seen any ghosts sleep before, but he wouldn’t put it past Enoshima to be able to do so.

It seems that like the two of them, Monaca also got bored.

“I’m tired,” she says. “You can finish talking tomorrow, I need a nap,” she informs Komaeda.

“Well, if that’s what you say, then of course I must agree.”

Monaca scoffs and goes to sit in her spot in the corner of the room in a little nest made of blankets and pillows, that are almost all the blankets and pillows present in the hideout. One pillow and one blanket was given to Izuru. Komaeda sleeps without any.

Speaking of Komaeda, the man is now looking at him.

“I’m going outside to look for food for tomorrow’s breakfast. Would you come along, Kamukura?” he asks. “It’s been a while since I’ve had company of someone my age, it’s really lucky that you’re here.”

It’s a better option than staying here with a sleeping Monaca and a pretending-to-be-sleeping Enoshima, so he gets up and follows Komaeda to the surface. At first they walk in silence, and Izuru wonders what was the point of asking him to come if Komaeda isn’t going to speak, but after a longer while the other finally opens his mouth and asks:

“Tell me, Kamukura, how long do you think we’ll be able to stay here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Komaeda seems surprised. Then, his mouth stretches into a grin that could be described as creepy and his eyes light up. “Rumor has it that Makoto Naegi is looking for the other survivors from Hope’s Peak. He has orders to protect them before the Remnants of Despair find them.”

How ironic.

“But, you know,” Komaeda continues, his voice trembling with excitement as he speaks. “According to other rumors that I’ve heard from my beloved classmates…  _ he knows exactly who the survivors are _ .”

Ah, so that must be his objective. “Saving” them.

Izuru has watched the broadcast, he’s seen Naegi’s blind faith in hope, the refusal to believe that things won’t work out even if you try your hardest. It’s a naïve outlook, but one that kept him alive and in the end led to the downfall of the Ultimate Despair herself. Impressive, although it must be mostly due to Naegi’s luck, but no one can survive that way forever. Naegi isn’t loved by talent the way Izuru is, his luck not as efficient or precise. It’s a pretty weak talent and one that won’t help him drag them back to the side of hope.

Izuru might be interested in seeing his plans fail. He has the AI that Enoshima left him and he wonders if this is when he gets to use it. Surely, Naegi must realize the only way to erase despair would be to erase the memories – does he have access to some sort of program? Will he restore Izuru back to who Izuru used to be? A risky attempt, a hopeful one, and one that is doomed from the beginning.

“Isn’t that exciting?” Komaeda asks. “Makes you want to see how it will all play out, huh?”

“It’s predictable how it will play out,” Izuru says. But maybe, he’ll be able to go in blind, if Naegi does attempt to tamper with their memories. “But it’s possible that it’s worth to go along with it.”

“Right? To see the Ultimate Hope facing the Remnants of Despair… it’s poetic, almost,” Komaeda sighs.

They reach a closed supermarket. Izuru picks the lock and they enter.

“Wow, impressive. Are you the Ultimate Lock-picker as well, Kamukura?” Komaeda asks.

Izuru glares at him.

“That would be a ridiculous talent.”

Komaeda laughs awkwardly. “Heh, I was just kidding.”

They don’t find a lot in the supermarket, but they pick up some chocolate chip cookies, cereal, bread and butter and milk that surprisingly hasn’t gone bad yet. It won’t be a very good breakfast, but options are limited here. He should go out and cook tomorrow when the lunch nears. He prefers eating food that is edible.

“We should take some chocolate for Miss Towa,” Komaeda says, turning towards the shelf with sweets. “A kid her age needs chocolate to be happy.”

“That’s incorrect,” Izuru tells him, because that is a ridiculous theory.

“Well, I don’t have any right to argue against an Ultimate like yourself,” Komaeda mutters but he still takes the chocolate.

His putting himself down is genuine, but there is still a bitterness in his voice as if he didn’t want to admit Izuru’s superiority. It’s not the first time he sounds like that, either.

“Hmm, I should figure out what to do about her before I go along with Naegi’s plan when he comes here,” Komaeda muses. “But she’s a smart kid, so I suppose I don’t have to be  _ that _ worried, do I?”

Izuru scoffs slightly.

“You are raising her to be the Ultimate Despair while you are rooting for hope to win. It doesn’t make sense for you to be worried about her well-being if you’re setting her up to be destroyed in the future, unless you are only worried about her survival until the day you think she is supposed to fall.”

Komaeda blinks, and gives him a confused, startled look. It’s as if that thought never even occurred to him, that the girl he’s looking after is being raised by him like a lamb for slaughter, that his goals go against Monaca Towa’s wellbeing.

“Have you not realized that?” Izuru raises an eyebrow. How foolish. “That’s an ending even a simple person like you should be able to predict.”

“He’s confused, I think,” a voice that doesn’t belong to Komaeda says. Izuru glances to his left. He hasn’t noticed Nanami’s ghost joining them but she’s there, looking at Komaeda with sadness in her eyes, in a way that to some extent is similar to the way she looks at Izuru. “About what he wants, that is. Komaeda loves hope but has fallen into despair. All his thoughts must be contradicting each other constantly. He must be really confused all the time.”

So they’ve known each other, before Nanami died? If she knew both Izuru and Komaeda, was she a student at Hope’s Peak then? Maybe even a member of the same class as the Remnants. Why is she dead then, and not among her classmates? Is she what Enoshima used to break them?

“I’m… setting her up… to be destroyed…? Huh…?” Komaeda repeats, as if in daze. “ _ Huh…? _ ” he blinks several times, as if trying to process the words. Soon enough though, he blinks himself out of his daze, his gaze becoming somewhat clearer as despair swirls in them and he laughs. “Well, it’s amazing if she manages to become a worthy opponent for hope. I could only dream of being such a magnificent stepping stone.”

Nanami sighs and looks down to the ground, upset.

“It’s no use letting this conversation continue,” Izuru decides. “Let us go back.”

“Hm? Ah, of course, naturally, you wouldn’t want to spend more time than necessary alone with someone like  _ me _ , let’s go then,” Komaeda says.

Izuru offers Nanami’s ghost a nod goodbye – why, he’s not sure, before following after Komaeda and outside of the supermarket.

*

“I’ll kill you,” the ghost declares, trying to reach for a knife as Izuru uses the kitchen that surely used to belong to the deceased here to make ramen. “I’ll kill you and I’ll save the world.”

He fails to pick up the knife and tries to swing a punch at Izuru instead. Izuru feels a gush of cold wind.

“Your attempts are futile,” he informs the ghost. “The dead cannot affect the living.”

It’s not entirely true, but it is accurate for a soul like this. Weak, meaningless, unable to accept that it’s already been defeated.

“It can’t be true!  _ It can’t be true _ !” the ghost yells and sobs, bloody tears streaming down its face.

“How beautiful…” Enoshima sighs even though she’s not looking at the ghost, instead playing with the end of one of her pigtails and gazing at it with intense melancholy. “The despair that you’ll feel when you realize how wrong you are – no, the despair that’s  _ already _ filling you as you are forced to acknowledge that you’re just lying to yourself at this point… how  _ hopeless _ .”

The dead soul screams. The ramen is finished. Izuru pours it into three bowls and sets them on the table where Komaeda and Monaca are already waiting.

“Thank you, big bro Kamukura!” Monaca smiles up at him, all sweet and fake.

“M-My own table…” the ghost weeps. “I used to eat there with m-my – my f-family…”

“That is no longer relevant,” Izuru states quietly.

Both Komaeda and Monaca hear him say it and they give him confused looks.

Enoshima gasps with sudden joy. “Kamukura! You’ve actually spoken to a ghost out loud with others listening! How bold!” she says and giggles.

“This wasn’t directed at either of you,” Izuru clarifies to his companions. “Enjoy the meal.”

They eat in silence because there isn’t much to be said. Komaeda might be thinking about what Izuru said to him the previous day, or perhaps he’s forgotten about that already and is now wondering when Naegi will come to get them. Ah, no, that’s probably not it, there is no dreamy look on his face that would be present if that was the case. Well, it doesn’t matter either way. Izuru doesn’t particularly care.

Monaca cares, it seems, because she’s bored as well but she’s far more easily entertained and the end to her boredom is usually within her reach. So she sighs heavily halfway through the meal, then gives them both a pointed stare, then rolls her eyes theatrically and in the end loudly huffs in frustration and puffs out her cheeks to show how unhappy she’s feeling at the moment.

“Is something the matter?” Komaeda asks eventually.

“Yeah! Why are both of you so quiet? It’s like a damn funeral here. Monaca  _ hates _ funerals,” she complains.

“I… didn’t even… didn’t even get a f-funeral,” the ghost hiccups.

“Gosh, shut  _ up _ ,” Enoshima snaps at it.

“Hey, big bro Kamukura,” Monaca tugs at his sleeve. “What were you talking about later? You said something is no longer relevant, what was that about?”

“That’s not relevant.”

Komaeda snorts.

“No fair!” Monaca protests. “Monaca wants to know!”

She raises her voice when she’s complaining. It’s irritating, but Izuru doesn’t stand up and leave and neither does he tell her that like he usually does when someone irritates him. He’s not sure why. Strange.

“Not answering questions can be quite cruel sometimes…” Komaeda muses, then looks at Monaca. “Perhaps you should learn from Kamukura. The only thing that fills people with despair more than however much they suffer is when they don’t understand  _ why _ it’s happening to them.”

Monaca grimaces at his words. “Gee, you’re so annoying, did you know that, big bro Komaeda? Must you turn everything into a rant about hope or despair? It’s weird. And confusing. Stop that or I’ll get tired of it.”

“Tired of it…? But to grow tired of hope or despair… that sounds rather impossible,” Komaeda says. Then, something flashes in his eyes, something that’s there only very briefly and is difficult to identify. He falls silent for a moment, then smiles. “But of course I’ll try my best not to cause you more annoyance, if that’s the case. Wouldn’t want our plan to fail just because of my bothersome personality.”

It’s startling, but Izuru realizes he doesn’t know what to make of Nagito Komaeda.

*

“Komaeda,” Izuru calls out after Monaca falls asleep. “Do you resent me?”

It’s one of several things that bother him. Because one second Komaeda will look at him with utter adoration and he’ll praise him, then the other second the glare he’ll give him burns with bitterness.

_ He must be really confused all the time _ , Nanami’s voice rings inside his mind.

“Hmm? What do you mean, Kamukura?” Komaeda asks, smiling politely.

“Do you resent me?” Izuru repeats.

Komaeda frowns.

“Resent? That’s wrong, after all – “ he cuts himself off suddenly and hesitates. “Ah, I mean. A lowly trash like me surely doesn’t deserve to resent someone like you and any opinion I might have regarding you shouldn’t matter.”

“What’s your opinion?”

“Kamukura, I just said – “

“I want to know,” Izuru interrupts him.

Komaeda is quiet for a moment and it almost seems like he’s too stubborn to ever speak, but eventually he opens his mouth and answers.

“Well, I think you are rather wonderful, of course. It’s amazing that such a being like yourself can exist, truly loved by talent, emanating hope even though you’re consumed by despair as well, it’s like your current state is battling your very nature and I believe of course that the hope deep within in you shall win and it’s going to be so inspiring.”

“But?” Izuru prompts.

The corners of Komaeda’s lips twist downward.

“I also think it’s unnatural for anyone to have many talents. I think you don’t deserve it, that it’s unfair and if it couldn’t have been me then it shouldn’t have been you,” he says, his voice cold and harsh, with a hint of what might even be hatred. It’s almost chilling. But then, Komaeda sits up and holds out his hands in an apologetic gesture. “Ah, but like I said, it’s not my place to say any of that. Anyway, I’ll go outside for a moment. Sleep well, Kamukura.”

Enoshima lets out a whistle when Komaeda leaves.

“ _ Damn _ ,” she comments. “Didn’t know he had it in him! How interesting! Look how much he  _ hates _ you, Kamukura, and yet how he  _ admires _ you. You should feel honored, he’s only treated  _ me _ that way before!” she then puts on her British accent as she flips her hair. “Delightful, isn’t it?”

“Your definition of ‘delightful’ differs from mine,” Izuru tells her.

“Aww, do you feel sad about it then?” she mocks him.

He doesn’t. He doesn’t really feel anything about it and isn’t sure if he’s supposed to think anything. People always either admire him or hate him. It’s strange that Komaeda does both but neither are things Izuru is unfamiliar with.

“It’s none of my concern,” he decides. “Enoshima, have you heard that Naegi is looking for the Remnants of Despair?”

“Oh?” that piques her interest and she immediately moves closer and watches him with curiosity. “Well,  _ that’s _ new information. Do tell me more.”

“I don’t know a lot. It seems he is hoping to help us. My assumption is it will most likely has something to do with our memories. Perhaps the Future Foundation owns some program he wants to use. I’ve heard rumors about them working on creating a program to help survivors of the Tragedy.”

“A program?” Enoshima repeats, excitement shining in her eyes. “Well, Kamukura, you know what to do, don’t you?”

Yes. She wants him to use what she’s left him.

“I do,” he confirms.

By the wall across from him, Monaca stirs.

“Who are you talking to…?” she asks, her voice sleepy.

Izuru doesn’t reply. She falls back asleep before she can ask again.

*

“Hello, Kamukura,” Nanami’s ghost smiles at him. “It’s nice to be able to talk to you again.”

“Likewise,” Izuru replies. “Nanami, why did you seek me out and attempted to talk to me? I’m no longer the friend you used to know.”

He wants to know what her goal is. Is the reason she sticks around some misguided sentiment? Does she miss someone who doesn’t exist anymore?

“Perhaps,” Nanami says. “But it’s difficult to say how true that is, isn’t it? You don’t remember your life as Hinata and I don’t know you as Kamukura.”

“I see. You’re correct, but even so – “

“Even so, there’s no reason for me to not want to be friends with you, right?” Nanami asks.

Izuru blinks.

“Friends?” he repeats. People don’t become friends with him. “Why?”

She smiles again. It’s warm and genuine and his chest hurts. He doesn’t understand why it feels that way, but his head is beginning to ache as well, as if his brain was working harder than ever now, trying to reach for something that isn’t there, remember a memory that’s been removed. He doesn’t know his past so he doesn’t know why, but being friends with Nanami sounds like something he might want.

It’s nonsensical, of course. Nanami isn’t special or unique. She’s not very interesting. She’s plain, she’s boring. He doesn’t mind too much, for some reason.

“Do I need a reason?” she asks.

“What… would being friends entail?” he asks.

“Anything,” Nanami tells him. “We could just talk. Walk around. If you found a game console somewhere, I could watch you play. It’s been a while since I had a chance to play myself.”

It sounds mundane. Izuru doesn’t know if it’d bring him any joy, but he feels certain he wouldn’t hate it.

“Alright,” he agrees. “I suppose we could try.”

There’s not much else to do in Towa City anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, be sure to leave kudos if you did! Comments are also greatly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

“Now! Shoot!” Nanami yells out excitedly.

The zombie on the screen falls over and dies with a blood-curdling scream.

“I know. I am the Ultimate Gamer as well,” Izuru tells her.

“Oh. That’s right,” she hums for a moment, as if thinking about something. Then, she gives him another one of her sad smiles. “I wish we could battle against each other, but that’s no longer possible…”

“I would win. Aside from gaming skills, I also possess the talent of being a perfect strategist as well as having the ultimate luck.”

“I still think it’d be nice to try,” Nanami says. “Even if the outcome is set from the start, it doesn’t matter that much as long as we have fun.”

It’s confusing, her outlook on life. A bit naïve or even childish. But somehow, he doesn’t feel annoyed by it even if he disagrees and considers it rather ridiculous.

“Like you’ve said, it’s impossible anyway. No point in wondering about it now,” he says. Another zombie dies on screen. The game is pretty dull and easy. He’d probably leave if he had better options but he doesn’t. At least he can listen to Nanami’s commentary, which he supposes isn’t too bad.

The girl sighs.

“Ah, maybe not… oh, that was a cool trick!” her eyes light up suddenly. “You’re really good at this game!”

“As I’ve said, it’s not to any extent difficult for me.”

“In that case, we need to try finding a more difficult one next time. There should be one… somewhere… I hope,” she says.

Hope. Not a word you hear often from dead people, or people in general nowadays. Although, he supposes it _has_ started growing in popularity after the end of the killing game at Hope’s Peak Academy, now that the Future Foundation stands any kind of chance against despair.

He’s aware there are some cities that have started trying to rebuild. That’s fine. However, he doesn’t like the idea of the Future Foundation growing in power. In the end, they’ll try to hunt him down to keep him locked up like he was shortly after his creation. Not being able to leave his dark room was the most bored he’s felt in his life.

Which is why the best course of action might be using Enoshima’s plan and sabotaging whatever Makoto Naegi has prepared to try and save them.

“You seem lost in thought,” Nanami notices.

“I’m not lost in thought, I’m simply thinking,” he tells her.

“Oh?” she tilts her head in curiosity and uses the arcade machine as a chair. “What are you thinking about, Kamukura?”

“…the future, I suppose.”

“That’s a good thing to think about… probably. What do you think the future will be?” she asks.

He wishes he didn’t know the answer.

“Boring, most likely. The Tragedy will go on for a while until things will eventually turn in hope’s favour. It will prevail for a while. Then despair will win another battle yet again. It’s an endless cycle according to which the world works.”

“…Is that so?” Nanami asks.

What’s there to argue about? Her optimism is like one of an ignorant child.

“Yes. It is.”

The girl furrows her eyebrows.

“I… don’t know about that,” she says. “Say, Kamukura, isn’t it better to think of life as of a game with a lot of bugs?”

What a silly comparison. Yet, a part of him wants to listen to her explanation.

“What do you mean by that?” he asks.

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts, then speaks carefully.

“Well… because there are a lot of things that seem like constants, or like they’re repetitive and easy to predict, right? But then… there are always things that _don’t_ go according to plan. That we don’t expect. There are things happening that are strange, aren’t there? Like they never should have existed, but they do. So even if for a while nothing interesting happens… eventually it will, right?”

For an average person, perhaps.

“You are forgetting that I am able to predict many possible outcomes. I don’t like to think about them too much, but nothing surprises me,” he says.

Nanami doesn’t look convinced yet. Once again, she has a look on her face that suggests that she’s thinking hard about something. A rebuttal, in this case.

“But… you didn’t expect me to start talking to you, did you?”

“It seemed odd to me that you did, but it wasn’t unexpected, since I had seen you multiple times before.”

“But were you expecting a ghost to start appearing near you suddenly? And you still don’t know who I am, exactly. At least, I don’t think you do,” Nanami argues. “And that’s why you haven’t asked me how we know each other. Because it _is_ an unknown.”

…

“Let’s go take a walk,” he says.

Nanami jumps off the arcade machine.

“Alright. Let’s go, Kamukura.”

He doesn’t remember going on a walk with anyone that isn’t Enoshima or one of the Remnants of Despair before, but it’s a welcome change. Nanami is calmer, she doesn’t rant or speak nonsense. She’s quiet when she has nothing to say and when she does, she thinks about it twice first. She takes the route through the streets where people can be seen, working together trying to save what’s left of Towa City. Most of them ignore Izuru, save for a few who send them distrustful glances. He doubts they know who he is, but it makes sense they would be suspicious of him – his appearance isn’t the most friendly.

The same can’t be said for ghosts, most of who take on a hostile attitude towards Nanami, openly glaring daggers at her or throwing insults, a lot of them whispering among themselves about how she’s being buddies with the guy responsible for a huge part of the mess that the Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History is, as well as countless deaths. Some of the ghosts even try to come closer but Izuru levels them with a stare that makes them cower in fear and back away.

“Thank you, Kamukura, but there is no need to do that,” Nanami tells him. “They won’t hurt me, I’m already dead.”

“Don’t they bother you?”

One of the ghosts is hissing at Nanami as they speak. The girl just shakes her head.

“It might be… a little upsetting, _however_ , I do understand where they’re coming from. After all, I _am_ talking to who they consider their enemy, aren’t I?”

“That is true, but understanding is different from being alright with something,” Izuru says.

He would know. He knows why Hope’s Peak Academy created him. He knows why they locked him up. He knows killing people is bad. He still became a part of the Ultimate Despair and helped start the Tragedy out of pure boredom. Or, some would perhaps call it desperation. He dislikes thinking of it that way, however. It almost makes him sound weak. He’s anything but. He’s strong and he’s unique and _too_ special for the world he has to live in, which is why he’s fine with letting it burn.

“Maybe so, but I don’t think it’ll do any good to get angry at them,” Nanami says. “Oh. Here is where we part, correct?”

They’ve reached the entrance to the underground.

“Yes. I will see you tomorrow, Nanami.”

“Alright. See you tomorrow then, Kamukura,” Nanami smiles at him warmly before disappearing.

Lacking a better option, he goes back underground. Enoshima isn’t present there, not even when he gets back to their current hideout, just like she wasn’t on the surface. He has no doubts that she’ll return eventually though.

He does find Enoshima’s hand, however, as he walks into their hideout just in time to see Komaeda staring at it. It’s attached to the man’s left arm, all thin and pale and frail with those familiar long red fake fingernails. Somehow, it hasn’t rotted yet.

Izuru thinks he should feel surprised or maybe repulsed, but instead he can only stare at it blankly. It’s disappointing, but a Remnant of Despair cutting off his own hand and replacing it with Junko Enoshima’s is something you would expect to happen with one of her followers. Junko Enoshima’s despair has been becoming predictable, like everything else in this world. Boring.

Ironically, that’s why he has to listen to her and use her A.I. Using her might be the only way to change things up, at least slightly, even if it all ends up coming back to square one once all is over.

“ – listening?”

Ah. Komaeda is speaking to him.

“What were you saying?” he asks.

“I was asking if you were alright, Kamukura. You, ah, seem to have spaced out.”

He has his mitten back on.

“Were you… wondering about my hand?” Komaeda guesses, tilting his head in curiosity.

“I already know what happened to your hand,” Izuru says. “Where is Monaca?”

“Monaca? Oh, she’s gone out for a moment to pee, she should be back any second!” the other answers. “And where were you today?”

Izuru moves to sit in his corner before replying.

“I went to an arcade today.”

“Arcade…?” Something flashes in Komaeda’s eyes. “Huh…”

He’s thinking.

“What is it?” Izuru asks.

“It’s… no, it’s nothing really, just – I had a… classmate, you see, who used to go to an arcade a lot.”

As far as he knows, Komaeda’s classmates should all be the Remnants of Despair. However…

“Used to?” he questions.

“She’s dead,” Komaeda says.

Interesting.

“I see,” Izuru mutters. A classmate. An arcade. Dead. Perhaps… “Tell me more about her.”

Komaeda blinks up in surprise.

“Oh! You’re interested in listening to me speak? Ah, no, not me speak, I meant… in the story that I am able to tell… Still, that’s unexpected, Kamukura! But of course, I can tell you whatever you want to know!” he says. His lips stretch into a grin. “She was… well, she was…” he trails off a little, his voice wavering and then turning a little warmer, just for a brief moment. “She was hope. A… true hope… for all of us… Ah, but that came to an end though! She was _such_ a great class rep and she would have us all play games with each other… she really brought us all together you know! That’s why she – this is the reason she… was chosen as the – the stepping stone for… hope?” his voice grows less and less sure as he speaks. He looks a little lost as he finishes, but then he shakes his head slightly and his creepy grin returns. “The despair we felt after her death… I’m sure that eventually an even brighter hope will be born from it.”

Seems like he was correct.

“Was her name Nanami?” he asks.

“Huh?” Komaeda looks stunned. “That’s – ah, how did…?” but he never gets to finish the question as it’s at that moment that Monaca strolls back inside their hideout. “Oh! Welcome back, Monaca.”

She walks in jumping up slightly, making a peace sign with her hand and smiling a toothy grin. It seems like she’s trying to imitate one of Enoshima’s many mannerisms.

“’Sup, losers,” she greets them cheerfully.

“… _She_ would say it more hostile if she were to use the word ‘losers’…” Komaeda mutters, more to himself than to anyone else, before smiling back. “Hello, Monaca. Are you ready to spread despair today?”

“Yup,” she nods. “Let’s go, big bro Komaeda.”

Izuru raises an eyebrow.

“Where are you going?”

“To torment people of course!” Monaca announces cheerfully.

“Perhaps commit some arson…” Komaeda adds.

Ah. Rather typical, for the times they now live in. They truly are… boring people. The one thing that he finds curious is how the girl will end up once Komaeda inevitably leaves to go along with Makoto Naegi.

“I see,” he says.

“Could you prepare food while we’re gone?” Komaeda asks. “Of course, I’m aware of how _rude_ it is of me to ask but… your cooking skills are by far better than mine.”

What else is there left for him to do?

“I’ll make the food,” he agrees.

*

Enoshima still hasn’t returned by the time the night falls. Her young wannabe and the Remnant do though, and Izuru is waiting for them with carefully prepared sushi from the ingredients he’s managed to obtain in the city. Monaca seems content to see it and Komaeda’s eyes light up. In a way, the atmosphere as they eat is pleasant. It’s nothing special, no, and he gets a little tired, but it’s not bad. He listens as the little girl talks happily about the gas station under construction that they blew up.

“What is your goal in that?” he asks Komaeda.

“Hmm? Well, it must have caused despair, isn’t that right? And the deeper the despair – “

“This city has already overcome despair and Komaru Naegi is helping them heal and have hope. A destruction of a gas station is inconsequential,” Izuru cuts him off.

Komaeda’s lips press into a thin line and his eyebrows furrow slightly. He glares at Izuru as if Izuru is the one at fault, responsible for the flaws in his logic. Izuru can’t help but to wonder what he acts like when not so deep in despair. Would he be more plain, completely dull? That’s what he was made to believe people with hope were like, but the most confusing person he’s met so far is Nanami, the ghost far from despairing.

Well. He has the tool to test hope by putting it in a battle against despair.

He should probably get going soon. Find the other Remnants of Despair and let them know to let Naegi find and take them. He has no doubt they’ll agree if it’s for Enoshima. Komaeda will probably go out of his own will without any convincing, there is no need for Izuru to linger here anymore.

But first… perhaps he’d like to go back to Hope’s Peak’s ruins. Find the classroom where the 77th class spent their school years and see if there is anything he might recognize, anything that might tell him more about the ghost girl.

Komaeda should do something about Monaca, she can’t be taken by the Future Foundation unless he’s alright with it being the end for her.

“Monaca, what are your plans?” he asks.

The girl seems surprised at being spoken to so suddenly.

“What are Monaca’s plans? Well, of course it’s to continue big sis Junko’s legacy, big bro Kamukura,” she says.

“Even if you are also acting according to the wishes of someone who’s rooting for hope, and you’re essentially hoping for despair?” he asks.

_What will you do with that question?_ Izuru wants to know. She’s an intelligent child, and she’s not as irrational as Komaeda is at the moment. She should be able to see all the issues with the situation she’s currently in.

What Monaca does is go very quiet and frowns. She looks annoyed, though perhaps not necessarily at Izuru. She scoffs loudly and puffs out her cheek, then crosses her arms and takes on the expression of a spoiled kid who didn’t get the present they wanted on their birthday. Denial, then? Or… no. She seems to be aware already of what he’s said, but rather… she doesn’t know what else to do. Is she lost? That really is like… a child, despite all the things she’s done.

“Monaca,” he speaks to her again. “You wanted to cut my hair, yes?”

Monaca looks up at him, taken aback by the question.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You may do it now.”

It would be good for him not to look like Izuru Kamukura when he’s captured. It might make more things just a little more interesting if he’s mistaken for Hajime Hinata. Though “mistaken” maybe isn’t the right word, since that is who he is, even if he doesn’t remember the times when he used that name.

If it’s possible, he is looking forward to being Hajime Hinata again. He must have been a reckless person whose actions can result in strangest outcomes, if he’s the kind of person who willingly subjects himself to human experimentation.

“Oh? I wouldn’t guess you’d be looking for a new haircut now, Kamukura,” Komaeda remarks.

“It’s for practical purposes.”

“Monaca did say it’d be easier to manage if it’s short! That’s why she keeps her own hair short.” Monaca points out as she goes to search for her scissors, then she makes a peace sign again and sticks out her tongue. “But Monaca will happily get to work!”

“Oh, I thought you were growing out your hair…?” Komaeda asks the girl. “So you can wear the same hairstyle _she_ did.”

Monaca hums.

“Hmm… it’s a neat idea, but it’ll be a pain if we spend here much longer… Hair needs to be washed, you know.”

“Komaeda, you should look for a different place for her to stay regardless, if you’re planning to go with Naegi,” Izuru tells him. “I myself shall be leaving soon, but I can look for a fitting place tomorrow.”

That seems to startle Monaca.

“Go with Naegi…? Oi, big bro Komaeda, is that what you meant when you said you have somewhere you need to be? Gee, it’s really soon that you’re leaving,” she rolls her eyes as she sits behind Izuru and gets to cutting his hair.

Komaeda laughs. “Ah, yes, that would be because of that. However… Kamukura, where will you be going? Are you going to seek out the others?”

“Among other things, yes,” he confirms.

“Other things? I’m kind of curious now, I have to admit!”

“I assure you, it’s of no concern to you.”

Komaeda laughs again. “Well, of course… no wonder someone like you wouldn’t want to answer someone like me… Although, you’re pretty blunt about your dislike for me!”

Izuru raises an eyebrow.

“Is this what it comes off as? Dislike?”

“Well, is it not?” Komaeda asks curiously.

If dislike was what it was, he’d make sure Komaeda would know it, just like he showed to Enoshima how even despite going along with her plans he still didn’t approve of _her_. She was annoying and only cared for him as long as she could use him. Nagito Komaeda, on the other hand…

“It’s not dislike. Rather… you aren’t anything special. Not many people in the world are, however. I’ve only known one exceptional person other than myself,” and he hated her even when they were on the same side and even as he still lets her keep him at least the slightest bit entertained when she haunts him. “Well. Hopefully, Naegi will prove to be another.”

“I mean, he _is_ the man who defeated the Ultimate Despair herself,” Komaeda points out.

“If he was able to kill big sis Junko, he must be rather powerful,” Monaca chimes in. “But, big bro Kamukura, if you go soon I’ll be left alone with this idiot here.”

Komaeda chuckles. “Now, that’s rather harsh.”

Monaca huffs. “What, it’s the truth!”

They’re not the worst company, though there aren’t many logical reasons why he thinks so. There’s conflict between these two all the time, maybe that’s why? Or perhaps, he supposes, this is what people speak about when they say you create an attachment to people you spend a certain amount of time with. Interesting. Unfortunately, the longer he stays the more mundane it will become.

“Ah, but, Kamukura, we’ll see each other again, right?” Komaeda asks. “Despite everything, I’m still very curious about you, and I’d say we get on quite well, even though I’m just a lowly trash and you’re a walking lab experiment.”

His voice manages to be both filled with admiration and awe but at the same time sound condescending.

“There is a chance we’ll encounter each other again, however it’s unlikely I’ll be able to participate in the majority of what lies ahead,” he says.

And after that, if hope doesn’t win, will most of them end up dead? That sounds like what Enoshima would have planned. Maybe even another killing game will happen. She likes falling into patterns like that.

Later, when Monaca is long asleep and Komaeda passes out, Izuru puts a blanket over him and leaves to search for a place for Monaca to stay.

He meets Nanami on his walk and thinks it will probably be their last one together.

*

He sees Chiaki Nanami one more time when he’s leaving Towa City. It’s dawn and the ghosts are wailing as he walks through the streets, except for her. She’s not sad all the time anymore, now when she looks at him she seems almost happy, as if she’s gotten back something she had lost in the past. Even now, she’s smiling at him as he walks closer.

“Good morning, Kamukura. Do you wanna go to the arcade today again?” she asks.

She sounds really excited about it.

“I’m sorry, but I have to refuse today,” he tells her. “There’s somewhere I need to go.”

Nanami’s ghost freezes in place at that and it shouldn’t be possible for ghosts to pale, but she does. The smile disappears from her face and hurt flashes in her eyes. Was today that important to her? Or rather… did he say something without realizing? She looks a bit as if she’s being reminded of something.

“Oh,” she says quietly. “Hey, Kamukura?”

“What is it?”

“I’m glad we’re friends,” she tells him, earnestly, looking up at him with sudden determination. “And… you matter to me, so I wish you all the best in the future. But… please, do remember, that life isn’t all about talent, okay? The most important is to be happy with who you are. Right? Please, try to… keep that in mind.”

Izuru can’t be sure why she’s being emotional, but perhaps… she’s scared of losing him, the same way she lost Hajime Hinata. Hesitantly, he raises his hand and pats her head, or at least the space where her head would be if it was corporeal. Her eyes widen at that and eventually she stifles out a small laugh.

“We… won’t see each other anymore, Nanami,” he tells her.

She looks down, and her smile turns a little sad again.

“I… did figure,” she whispers. “Please, be careful, wherever you’re going. Because… like I said. You’re my friend. And I don’t want you to get hurt.”

She’s a strange one, that’s for sure. Way too sentimental. And yet…

“Don’t worry, Nanami. I will be alright,” he tells her.

She nods. “Okay. Then… goodbye, I guess.”

“Goodbye, Nanami.”

And with that, he walks away, leaving the Towa City, Chiaki Nanami, Nagito Komaeda, Monaca Towa and the suffering ghosts all behind. He walks until he gets to the outskirts of the city and that’s where he sees Enoshima, waiting for him. She grins as soon as she sees him and waves her hand, as if he didn’t notice her right away.

“Where were you?” he asks.

“Aww, did you miss me? Well, I was looking for a certain ghost, but… it seems like he doesn’t linger on Earth,” she tells him, her voice quiet and depressed before she bursts out into hysterical laughter. “Despair goes on even in death!”

“So does you being a menace, it seems,” he comments. “But… at least I’ll be able to use you this time.”

Just like ghosts shouldn’t be able to pale, they also shouldn’t be able to blush, but Enoshima still manages to as she feigns coyness.

“Kamukura, you don’t have to put it like  _ that _ !”

“I didn’t put it like anything. What your mind makes of it is none of my business,” he deadpans.

Enoshima rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s get going, shall we? Our last journey, it seems! The next time we’ll see each other… neither of us will be quite ourselves,” she says, a creepy smile crawling its way onto her face. “Well. For what it’s worth, Kamukura, I hope your future is one you can’t predict.”

Izuru doesn’t dignify her remark with a response, and silently resumes walking.


End file.
